8.14.11
Over the past few weeks, I have put off something I usually enjoy doing - going for a walk or run in the late evening. My reason for avoiding this activity was because my tennis shoes were getting worn out. Each time I would go for a long walk in them, I would come home with my calves aching and blisters on my heels. It was time for a new pair of shoes.
Today, I finally found a good pair. As with anything new you get, I had to test them out. I put them on and laced them up, and grabbed my ipod for my evening run. I no sooner got to the end of the driveway when I realized my ipod was dead. Hmph. Alright, I guess God's wanting a little time with me alone.
As I began my run, I began to pray. One thing I particularly wanted to talk to God about was my passion for reading the Bible. Let me just say, I lack passion in this department. I absolutely love to listen to podcasts of different pastors around the country and I could listen to worship music all day. But when it comes down to sitting with the Bible in my lap and reading, it doesn't happen as often as I would like. I began to tell God about my desire for a passion to read the scriptures. Over the next 30 minutes, here is a brief summary of what God shared with me:
I was enjoying my new pair of running shoes. These shoes fit well, supported me, and gave me that strong foundation. They were my connection to the road. A bad pair of shoes gives a bad connection between me and the road. These new shoes made an excellent connection and pushed me to run harder.
Just like my shoes are what connects me to the road, the Bible is what connects me to God. A good relationship with God can only come when I spend time in His word. Spending time reading the Bible is what is going to give me that strong foundation in my relationship with God. It's what's going to challenge me and push me - just like my new shoes.
With that, I'm going to sign off and start reading. :)
Brittney
8.14.2011
8.13.2011
Dreamer or Dream Killer?
8.13.11
This past Thursday and Friday I had the opportunity to volunteer at the Global Leadership Summit, a 2-day event with many different pastors and business people all speaking on the topic of leadership. When I wasn't running around preparing food or working the bookstore, I got to sit in and hear several of the messages. They were not only inspiring, but challenging. Most of the speakers challenged you to do something - to act. I remember one individual saying "You can't do something about everything, but you can do something about SOME THINGS."
Think about a dream you have had sometime in your life. Maybe it's a small dream or a short term goal, or maybe it's a huge dream that would require years of work and you may not even know where to start to see it come true. If you have told anyone about your dream, you have probably gotten an opinion or response from that person - possibly even a negative response.
Until Friday, I would have told you I was probably the one to give the negative response. I didn't see it as being negative, I saw it as being practical and realistic. My husband is the dreamer in the family. He always has a big idea or dream about the future. And I was always the one to "pull him back to reality" and tell him why he wouldn't be able to pull it off. Basically I was the dream killer, that was, until Friday.
On Friday, I had a change in perspective. On Friday I was listening to one of the speakers and just so happened to be sitting next to a good friend that is aware of my big dream to adopt internationally and be a mother some day. As the speaker was closing, this friend leaned over and told me some words I'll never forget - "God's going to give you the desires of your heart. God is faithful, and he's going to bless you." It was those encouraging words that told me I had love and support and I wasn't alone. That encouragement made me want to take the next step right then and there because I knew I had someone by my side. When you're supported, you're more likely to ACT to achieve your goal. The support can't be one sided - it can't be an "only if you succeed" support. It has to be an "I'll be here for you if you fail" support also.
So are you a dreamer, or a dream killer? If you're the 2nd, I challenge you to change your way of thinking. You're not helping anyone by "pulling them back down to Earth" (and I'm totally speaking to myself here also!) You may be stopping them from taking the next step to reaching their dream.
This past Thursday and Friday I had the opportunity to volunteer at the Global Leadership Summit, a 2-day event with many different pastors and business people all speaking on the topic of leadership. When I wasn't running around preparing food or working the bookstore, I got to sit in and hear several of the messages. They were not only inspiring, but challenging. Most of the speakers challenged you to do something - to act. I remember one individual saying "You can't do something about everything, but you can do something about SOME THINGS."
Think about a dream you have had sometime in your life. Maybe it's a small dream or a short term goal, or maybe it's a huge dream that would require years of work and you may not even know where to start to see it come true. If you have told anyone about your dream, you have probably gotten an opinion or response from that person - possibly even a negative response.
Until Friday, I would have told you I was probably the one to give the negative response. I didn't see it as being negative, I saw it as being practical and realistic. My husband is the dreamer in the family. He always has a big idea or dream about the future. And I was always the one to "pull him back to reality" and tell him why he wouldn't be able to pull it off. Basically I was the dream killer, that was, until Friday.
On Friday, I had a change in perspective. On Friday I was listening to one of the speakers and just so happened to be sitting next to a good friend that is aware of my big dream to adopt internationally and be a mother some day. As the speaker was closing, this friend leaned over and told me some words I'll never forget - "God's going to give you the desires of your heart. God is faithful, and he's going to bless you." It was those encouraging words that told me I had love and support and I wasn't alone. That encouragement made me want to take the next step right then and there because I knew I had someone by my side. When you're supported, you're more likely to ACT to achieve your goal. The support can't be one sided - it can't be an "only if you succeed" support. It has to be an "I'll be here for you if you fail" support also.
So are you a dreamer, or a dream killer? If you're the 2nd, I challenge you to change your way of thinking. You're not helping anyone by "pulling them back down to Earth" (and I'm totally speaking to myself here also!) You may be stopping them from taking the next step to reaching their dream.
6.29.2011
Dance the Dance.
Today has been a beautiful day - sunshine, warm, but not much humidity. After dinner, I just had to go for a walk to enjoy the wonderful weather. However, I wanted to walk quickly because my favorite show this summer, So You Think You Can Dance, is on TV tonight. As I was walking, I had a thought I wanted to share.
If you've never seen this show before, it's an American Idol type show - dancers audition, then perform week to week and get voted off when they have the lowest votes (and in this show, the judge agrees they should leave). What makes this show different than many I've seen is that the contestants CAN DANCE. I don't mean that they simply have the talent, I mean they have so much passion for what they are doing you can feel the emotion in your living room. When someone has so much passion for what they do, it inspires me. Occasionally, the dancers may pick a style of dance they are completely uncomfortable with, or worst case scenario, they become injured during rehearsal and can't compete. This doesn't happen often, but when it does, the dancer usually returns the following week and competes harder and with more passion and energy than they did before they were hurt.
I got to thinking that this is how it should be in our Christian life. We need to find that area we're passionate about and give it everything we've got. Dance the dance, don't just walk through the steps or go through the motions. Whether that be hanging out with youth, serving in kids ministry, leading a small group Bible study, or helping clean the church for a worship service, go ALL in. Don't hold back. God gave you a specific passion and heart for something and wants you to use it to the fullest. Like the dancers on the show, you may get hurt- you may be physically ill, having an "off" week, or dealing with something really tough in your life. It's ok to take a step back sometimes to reevaluate your passion (to make sure it hasn't changed) but more importantly, to refocus on God and have him renew your spirit. The important thing is when you return, you come back with more fire than you had before you left.
Dance the dance. Go all in.
If you've never seen this show before, it's an American Idol type show - dancers audition, then perform week to week and get voted off when they have the lowest votes (and in this show, the judge agrees they should leave). What makes this show different than many I've seen is that the contestants CAN DANCE. I don't mean that they simply have the talent, I mean they have so much passion for what they are doing you can feel the emotion in your living room. When someone has so much passion for what they do, it inspires me. Occasionally, the dancers may pick a style of dance they are completely uncomfortable with, or worst case scenario, they become injured during rehearsal and can't compete. This doesn't happen often, but when it does, the dancer usually returns the following week and competes harder and with more passion and energy than they did before they were hurt.
I got to thinking that this is how it should be in our Christian life. We need to find that area we're passionate about and give it everything we've got. Dance the dance, don't just walk through the steps or go through the motions. Whether that be hanging out with youth, serving in kids ministry, leading a small group Bible study, or helping clean the church for a worship service, go ALL in. Don't hold back. God gave you a specific passion and heart for something and wants you to use it to the fullest. Like the dancers on the show, you may get hurt- you may be physically ill, having an "off" week, or dealing with something really tough in your life. It's ok to take a step back sometimes to reevaluate your passion (to make sure it hasn't changed) but more importantly, to refocus on God and have him renew your spirit. The important thing is when you return, you come back with more fire than you had before you left.
Dance the dance. Go all in.
6.07.2011
Mama always said...
Today I made a stop at a gas station to get a fountain drink. As I was coming out the door, a young girl about 17 or 18 was yelling very loudly at a guy that had walked out seconds before me. She was using profanity and hurling insults at him, even throwing her hands in the air. I then looked towards the guy who was sitting on the sidewalk completely silent, as if trying to ignore her. I got in my car and drove away thinking “Wow, do people seriously have to use that kind of language? Why does someone think it’s ok to speak to anyone like that?” What did this girl accomplish by calling him out in public? Nothing but making herself look bad (and ruining any chances with this guy if the 2 had been dating…)
As I sit now and re-think the scenario, this guy definitely showed the maturity here- he accepted the insults and held his tongue. It really made me think about how we communicate.
Mama always said “actions speak louder than words.”
In this scene at the gas station, the guy’s ability to stay silent and block out the comments showed me he was the bigger/better person. (I have no idea what the 2 were arguing about, I’m simply looking at the principle.)
To take it to another level, if actions speak louder than words, what are we communicating to the One who gave us life and walks with us each step of the way? By turning your back when you feel like God has ignored you says you don’t fully trust Him. When you serve others, you are telling Him that his love is so important to you that you want to share it. Spending time in His word daily says you want to know more about Him. Communicating with God is not only about that prayer you say before your meal or as you go to bed each night. It’s about how you live on a daily basis.
What have your actions lately communicated to God? Is there anything that needs to change?
5.31.2011
Baseball and Fire
For those that know me in the least, you know I'm married to a die hard St. Louis Cardinals fan. When we first got married, I knew nothing about the game. But Eddie has slowly taught me about previous players, different pitches, and stats. Tonight, I sit and watch the game but view it in a different way. Currently, St. Louis is behind in the game. As I hope for a comeback, I think back to previous games. Many times, all it takes is one play to ignite the players. One hit or one home run can be the motivation to make a comeback. Before you know it, your team is coming from behind and the other players can't wait to get up to bat to have their chance at scoring too.
For me, this is how life is sometimes. Things are just "going" (kind of like baseball) - daily activities become routine and unfortunately things like a daily quiet time and prayer are pushed to the back burner. But from somewhere comes that spark, some small piece of inspiration to make things more than just routine. It's usually a song, message, or conversation with a friend that pushes me to look at my life and key in on the important things again. The last few weeks, I have listened to a message by Pastor Steven Furtick called "Sun Stand Still" about 3 or 4 times. (If you haven't heard it, click here. It may just change your life!) Currently, I'm on fire - like when your baseball team is only one run down with the bases loaded and no outs! My prayer is that I can get ahead in the game and not have a chance to lose that momentum. Always look/listen for things that help keep that flame burning. It's a lot easier to keep the fire going, then to re-ignite it if it burns out.
What is it in your life that gives you that spark; helps you to push forward and gives you momentum in life?
For me, this is how life is sometimes. Things are just "going" (kind of like baseball) - daily activities become routine and unfortunately things like a daily quiet time and prayer are pushed to the back burner. But from somewhere comes that spark, some small piece of inspiration to make things more than just routine. It's usually a song, message, or conversation with a friend that pushes me to look at my life and key in on the important things again. The last few weeks, I have listened to a message by Pastor Steven Furtick called "Sun Stand Still" about 3 or 4 times. (If you haven't heard it, click here. It may just change your life!) Currently, I'm on fire - like when your baseball team is only one run down with the bases loaded and no outs! My prayer is that I can get ahead in the game and not have a chance to lose that momentum. Always look/listen for things that help keep that flame burning. It's a lot easier to keep the fire going, then to re-ignite it if it burns out.
What is it in your life that gives you that spark; helps you to push forward and gives you momentum in life?
5.27.2011
When Life Gets Tough
For those of you who know me, you know my faith is pretty important to me. I work for the church I currently attend, volunteer in Kids ministry, love worship music, and try to spend time in the word daily. My relationship with God is a huge part of my life. I know in my heart He has control over everything, a plan for my life, and will guide me along that path He has set for me. But I think for all of us that call ourselves Christians, we also have times in our lives when God seems farther away than other times. Like He's there, but more of an "out in space" kind of God watching over us, not that personal right-next-to-me God. The last week or so, I've really been struggling in my prayer life because it seems like God is far away. I lift up prayers, but does he really hear them?
Over the last month or 2, I've heard in several different ways "pray as if God has already answered your prayer," "give to God those big 'impossible' requests," and my favorite quote "If the size of your need seems too big for you, it is just the right size for God." It all seems so easy. Except it's not. Have you ever had something in front of you, something you prayed over and over again and it still hasn't been answered? I have a few of those in my life right now. Do you stop praying for it, accepting that it's just "not in God's plan for you"? Do you pray for it even harder? Do you change how you pray for it? I would really like some feedback here because I don't have the answer.
I was talking to a friend recently and he said something that has stuck with me ever since: All you need is a change in perspective. As I again think about this statement, I feel like it applies here. I feel like God is far away this week, not listening to me. But is He? Absolutely not. Hebrews 13:8 states "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever." The same God that heard (and answered) the prayers of all those in the Old Testament is still the same God I pray to today. He's still there, still listening, still willing to help me and guide me. Does that make those big impossible prayers that seem like they are never heard easier to deal with? Absolutely not. But God's word promises me that He loves me and cares for me, and today I'm clinging to that hope.
4.27.2011
Jeremiah 29:11
4.27.11
Wow. It's been a while! Unfortunately with my crazy work schedule (still working some at the hospital while I finish some things up), time for anything has become very limited. It seems as though Eddie and I have been on completely different schedules, so I'm looking forward to spending the weekend together and attending the wedding of some close friends of ours :)
Because I have been so busy, I feel like I haven't seen or spoken to very many people lately. I just wanted to give an update on what's been happening in our lives. Many of you know about the struggles Eddie and I have gone through over the past several years to have a child. We are both anxious to be parents and start a family. However, this has been both a painful and stressful time in our life. Over the past several years, we have gone through fertility testing, blood work, ultrasounds, and medicines, all while watching those around us conceive without difficulty. Let me just tell you, if you have never experienced infertility first hand, you have no idea what goes on. This has been the biggest emotional roller coaster that I would not wish upon anyone. It's as if the longer you go without conceiving, the more babies that suddenly appear around you, but not for your arms.
I feel like I am a pretty strong Christian and know God has a plan for my life, but the last few years my anger has built and built until it finally came crashing down. I couldn't understand why all I ever wanted in life was to be a mom but couldn't conceive, but the 16 year old in front of me at the Walmart check out had sex once and became pregnant (and in today's culture, this is EVERYWHERE). I couldn't (and still have a hard time) wrap my head around it. Children are supposed to be "blessings and gifts from God," so why haven't I been blessed? The darkness that Eddie and I have gone through have not only made us question our faith, but our relationship too.
One reason I'm finally speaking out about the pain and sadness we have gone through is to let others going through this know there are people out there who have too. My biggest pain in all of this is I feel like I have no one to turn to, no one who understands exactly what kind of pain I/we have gone through. I know this has been hard on Eddie, but it has been extremely hard on me since it's problems with my body. And no one understands.
The second reason is to tell you, we have been given hope. Eddie and I have decided to adopt internationally. While many of you may have heard us talk about this before, we had kind of put the idea on the backburner. We knew we wanted to adopt, just not right now. I wanted to have "one of my own" first and looked at adoption as the last resort. However, God has completely changed and opened my heart to this idea this week and I know He is leading us down this path. Let me tell you how God has spoken to me in the last few days:
1) Monday morning I received an email from an organization called Family Life about their radio program for the day. It was titled "Grappling with Infertility" and was a lead up to the Orphan Alliance Summit in Louisville, KY in May. Ironically enough, this was on the same morning of #2:
2) I had already planned to have lunch with a friend who has been through the adoption process to hear her story. So within about 3 hours, I listened to a radio program about the struggles of infertility and how God can lead you to adopt, then heard someone's own adoption story.
3)The next morning, someone on Twitter had posted my favorite scripture story in 1 Samuel - the story of Hannah who was infertile and begged God for a son (He eventually gave her Samuel). This story has been my hope through this whole process, that God would hear my prayer and give us a child.
4) The follow-up radio programs on Family Life on Tues. and Wed. mornings were the conclusion to the adoption discussion - how to open your heart to the idea of adoption and how to bring that child home to a loving family where they are not the "adopted child" but your child.
So, between the different ways God has been speaking to my heart this week, I feel it would be absolutely selfish of me to turn my back on God's plan and not pursue this. Eddie and I are ready to take this next step in life, and while we know it may be a long, complicated, and tiring process, the end goal is great. The thought of getting that phone call about who our future child is, and then getting on a plane to meet and receive our child just warms my heart.
It has taken me 3 years to get to this point. To move past the anger, bitterness, guilt and sadness to be open to God's plan for our family and know He has our best interest in mind.
So this is the beginning of the journey....it may be a wild ride, but it will be worth it. :)
Brittney
Wow. It's been a while! Unfortunately with my crazy work schedule (still working some at the hospital while I finish some things up), time for anything has become very limited. It seems as though Eddie and I have been on completely different schedules, so I'm looking forward to spending the weekend together and attending the wedding of some close friends of ours :)
Because I have been so busy, I feel like I haven't seen or spoken to very many people lately. I just wanted to give an update on what's been happening in our lives. Many of you know about the struggles Eddie and I have gone through over the past several years to have a child. We are both anxious to be parents and start a family. However, this has been both a painful and stressful time in our life. Over the past several years, we have gone through fertility testing, blood work, ultrasounds, and medicines, all while watching those around us conceive without difficulty. Let me just tell you, if you have never experienced infertility first hand, you have no idea what goes on. This has been the biggest emotional roller coaster that I would not wish upon anyone. It's as if the longer you go without conceiving, the more babies that suddenly appear around you, but not for your arms.
I feel like I am a pretty strong Christian and know God has a plan for my life, but the last few years my anger has built and built until it finally came crashing down. I couldn't understand why all I ever wanted in life was to be a mom but couldn't conceive, but the 16 year old in front of me at the Walmart check out had sex once and became pregnant (and in today's culture, this is EVERYWHERE). I couldn't (and still have a hard time) wrap my head around it. Children are supposed to be "blessings and gifts from God," so why haven't I been blessed? The darkness that Eddie and I have gone through have not only made us question our faith, but our relationship too.
One reason I'm finally speaking out about the pain and sadness we have gone through is to let others going through this know there are people out there who have too. My biggest pain in all of this is I feel like I have no one to turn to, no one who understands exactly what kind of pain I/we have gone through. I know this has been hard on Eddie, but it has been extremely hard on me since it's problems with my body. And no one understands.
The second reason is to tell you, we have been given hope. Eddie and I have decided to adopt internationally. While many of you may have heard us talk about this before, we had kind of put the idea on the backburner. We knew we wanted to adopt, just not right now. I wanted to have "one of my own" first and looked at adoption as the last resort. However, God has completely changed and opened my heart to this idea this week and I know He is leading us down this path. Let me tell you how God has spoken to me in the last few days:
1) Monday morning I received an email from an organization called Family Life about their radio program for the day. It was titled "Grappling with Infertility" and was a lead up to the Orphan Alliance Summit in Louisville, KY in May. Ironically enough, this was on the same morning of #2:
2) I had already planned to have lunch with a friend who has been through the adoption process to hear her story. So within about 3 hours, I listened to a radio program about the struggles of infertility and how God can lead you to adopt, then heard someone's own adoption story.
3)The next morning, someone on Twitter had posted my favorite scripture story in 1 Samuel - the story of Hannah who was infertile and begged God for a son (He eventually gave her Samuel). This story has been my hope through this whole process, that God would hear my prayer and give us a child.
4) The follow-up radio programs on Family Life on Tues. and Wed. mornings were the conclusion to the adoption discussion - how to open your heart to the idea of adoption and how to bring that child home to a loving family where they are not the "adopted child" but your child.
So, between the different ways God has been speaking to my heart this week, I feel it would be absolutely selfish of me to turn my back on God's plan and not pursue this. Eddie and I are ready to take this next step in life, and while we know it may be a long, complicated, and tiring process, the end goal is great. The thought of getting that phone call about who our future child is, and then getting on a plane to meet and receive our child just warms my heart.
It has taken me 3 years to get to this point. To move past the anger, bitterness, guilt and sadness to be open to God's plan for our family and know He has our best interest in mind.
So this is the beginning of the journey....it may be a wild ride, but it will be worth it. :)
Brittney
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