After a lot of reflection on things this weekend, I thought it may be time to give an update on here. It's amazing how crazy life gets and how fast the weeks go by....
I'll be 19 weeks this week. We find out a week from today if Baby Gomez is a boy or girl. We can hardly wait!! It's been 8 weeks since I had the last ultrasound and got to see our sweet child that has captured my heart already. The thought of seeing him or her (and being able to call him or her by name!) next Monday puts a smile to my face. I always get anxious going in for appointments and pray that things are developing normally. But the last few days, the baby has given me reassurance that things are going well- his or her kicks are getting stronger and more frequent, and I love being able to feel them!
In a previous post, I mentioned that last time I was at the OB, my heart was beating pretty fast and I was sent to the hospital for an EKG. I got a call a few weeks ago that it came back abnormal, so I was referred to a cardiologist. Last week was my first appointment with him, and it was still pretty fast that day. I had to wear a heart monitor for 2 days (longest 2 days of my life...those things are heavy!) and had an echo ultrasound of my heart today (and she mentioned it was still pretty fast...) I should know something soon about what's going on, but please pray for answers.
I do have to give a huge thank you to the Heart Group in Henderson. I have never been to a dr's office where every single appointment was on time, and where you were remembered by name after only being seen once. The dr. saw me in the hall today after I completed my echo, spoke to me by name, and said he would head back right then to view the results. The tech also told me it was their policy to call with all results of any test or labs, whether they were normal or abnormal. I'm used to the "you'll hear from us if there's a problem" policy at other offices, so this was much appreciated. I highly recommend this office!
On another note, Eddie & I had a great weekend. We got the baby's crib (thanks to one bargain shopping friend and another that transported it to our house!) and started on the nursery. All this weekend, I couldn't stop picturing our lives as a family of three. Everything we did - from getting ice cream on Saturday afternoon, to taking a walk, to dinner with family, all I could see was us as a family of three, and I loved every second of it. For three long years, Eddie and I dreamed about what life may be like with a child, but wondered if we would ever get to that point. I feel so incredibly blessed that God has given us this child and we can truly start to imagine what life WILL be like in about 5 months. :)
Please continue to pray for both mine and baby's health. I'll post again next Monday after we have more ultrasound pictures and find out if we're team pink or team blue!
Brittney
3.19.2012
2.22.2012
Things I've Learned During Pregnancy (So Far.)
I haven't blogged in a while - mostly because of being a) sick and b) exhausted. But I'm 15 weeks today and slowly starting to feel better! As I was getting ready this morning, I was thinking a lot about how my life has changed in just 2 1/2 months. (Funny how one little "+" sign can do that ;) Several things came to mind that I may have previously known, but definitely understand or appreciate more now. Just thought I would share:
1) Pregnancy is HARD.
Mentally, physically, emotionally, and even spiritually. I kind of had an idea it would be difficult, but nothing to this extent. There are some days I feel absolutely dependent on others, and for those of you who know how independent I am, this has been difficult to accept. It's hard to appreciate anything when you are sick 6-10 times a day. It's hard to do anything around the house when you fall asleep at 6:00pm and sleep til 6:30 the next morning. It's hard to trust God when all you can think about is "will I be able to afford this child?" and "this house isn't big enough for a baby, let alone everything that comes with a baby." It's just HARD. I get it now.
2) I've (re-)learned that my husband is incredible and will make an amazing dad.
All the things that have become so hard for me, he has picked up and carried. He does the laundry, cooking, cleaning, and reminds me several times daily that God will provide. Even when he was in Colombia for 10 days, he checked on me several times a day and sent others to check on me. I am SO grateful to have him in my life.
3) On most days, I take my health and life for granted, but things can change in an instant.
Yesterday at the doctor's office I had a brief health scare. I went in for my monthly appointment and when having my vitals taken, saw panic on the nurse's face. She called another nurse into the room to "double check her work", and she quickly left. Turns out my blood pressure and heart rate were pretty out of whack and apparently my heart was racing. They sent me to the hospital for an EKG. (I still haven't heard the results of it, but my dr's office runs on a "no news is good news" policy, so I'm guessing things turned out ok.) But it definitely put things into perspective for me - everything we have is a gift and it can be taken away at any moment.
4) It is absolutely possible to fall in love with someone without even meeting them.
I'll admit, I really struggled the first several weeks after I found out I was pregnant. I felt like I should have this instant "strong, emotional attachment" to this child, especially since Eddie and I had prayed for a baby for so long. Of course I prayed for the baby to be healthy and grow and develop properly, and maybe it just hadn't sunk in yet that it was actually happening, but I felt horrible for not instantly being "in love." That was, until I saw the ultrasound. I think I've watched the DVD of it about 20 times. And that love grows daily. Yesterday during the health scare was the first time it truly ran through my mind "what will happen if we lose this baby?" and I realized, I'm certainly attached now. I would be absolutely devastated. Even though I heard the heartbeat yesterday, I'm counting the days til we get to see him or her again (and find out if it's a him or her!) on March 26.
While these things may seem absolutely obvious to most, they are things I've had to process and re-learn and wanted to blog about to keep as a memory for me. And we still have 25 weeks left of this pregnancy journey! I can't wait to see what else God reveals to me during this time.
1) Pregnancy is HARD.
Mentally, physically, emotionally, and even spiritually. I kind of had an idea it would be difficult, but nothing to this extent. There are some days I feel absolutely dependent on others, and for those of you who know how independent I am, this has been difficult to accept. It's hard to appreciate anything when you are sick 6-10 times a day. It's hard to do anything around the house when you fall asleep at 6:00pm and sleep til 6:30 the next morning. It's hard to trust God when all you can think about is "will I be able to afford this child?" and "this house isn't big enough for a baby, let alone everything that comes with a baby." It's just HARD. I get it now.
2) I've (re-)learned that my husband is incredible and will make an amazing dad.
All the things that have become so hard for me, he has picked up and carried. He does the laundry, cooking, cleaning, and reminds me several times daily that God will provide. Even when he was in Colombia for 10 days, he checked on me several times a day and sent others to check on me. I am SO grateful to have him in my life.
3) On most days, I take my health and life for granted, but things can change in an instant.
Yesterday at the doctor's office I had a brief health scare. I went in for my monthly appointment and when having my vitals taken, saw panic on the nurse's face. She called another nurse into the room to "double check her work", and she quickly left. Turns out my blood pressure and heart rate were pretty out of whack and apparently my heart was racing. They sent me to the hospital for an EKG. (I still haven't heard the results of it, but my dr's office runs on a "no news is good news" policy, so I'm guessing things turned out ok.) But it definitely put things into perspective for me - everything we have is a gift and it can be taken away at any moment.
4) It is absolutely possible to fall in love with someone without even meeting them.
I'll admit, I really struggled the first several weeks after I found out I was pregnant. I felt like I should have this instant "strong, emotional attachment" to this child, especially since Eddie and I had prayed for a baby for so long. Of course I prayed for the baby to be healthy and grow and develop properly, and maybe it just hadn't sunk in yet that it was actually happening, but I felt horrible for not instantly being "in love." That was, until I saw the ultrasound. I think I've watched the DVD of it about 20 times. And that love grows daily. Yesterday during the health scare was the first time it truly ran through my mind "what will happen if we lose this baby?" and I realized, I'm certainly attached now. I would be absolutely devastated. Even though I heard the heartbeat yesterday, I'm counting the days til we get to see him or her again (and find out if it's a him or her!) on March 26.
While these things may seem absolutely obvious to most, they are things I've had to process and re-learn and wanted to blog about to keep as a memory for me. And we still have 25 weeks left of this pregnancy journey! I can't wait to see what else God reveals to me during this time.
1.30.2012
A Lot Going On!
Since it's been several weeks since I blogged last, I thought it would be a good time to give an update on things going on. It seems like the time since we have found out about this baby in December has FLOWN by. I'm sure the next 6 1/2 months will feel the same!
Last week, we got a peek of our precious little baby. He or she was doing great! The ultrasound was 3D/4D and SO cool. I'll post a few pics below. They also gave us a DVD of the whole ultrasound, and I think I've played it about 15 times. It's still so hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that this is real, that our prayer has been answered, and that God is faithful! There were so many days I seriously thought this would never come true.
During the ultrasound, the baby was moving up a storm. The ultrasound tech said it was "dancing." Yep, it's Eddie's child - I'm sure it's already dancing in there! ;) Heartbeat was a good 170bpm - I always tear up when I hear it. We go back for our next Dr. appt at the end of Feb, and will find out what the sex is on my birthday, March 26. What an awesome birthday present that will be!
They also moved my due date up to Aug. 15, making me 11 weeks instead of 10. I'm counting down the days to the end of the first trimester and praying for relief from the morning sickness (which should really be called "All day sickness". The term "morning sickness" teases you - how I wish it was only in the morning!) From about 8 weeks through last week, I physically felt awful. Some days, the physical effects (and hormones, I'm sure) took an emotional toll - I'm so used to being independent, and Eddie has had to do everything for me - cook, clean, laundry, etc... I felt like my life wasn't my life anymore. I'm so thankful I have an amazing husband!! Luckily, the last few days have been much better. Praying they continue!
Eddie leaves to go home to Colombia and visit his family soon. I'm so excited for him to go home, but of course he will be greatly missed!! Please pray for safe travels for him.
Thanks again for all your prayers and support! They mean so much to us :)
Brittney
Last week, we got a peek of our precious little baby. He or she was doing great! The ultrasound was 3D/4D and SO cool. I'll post a few pics below. They also gave us a DVD of the whole ultrasound, and I think I've played it about 15 times. It's still so hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that this is real, that our prayer has been answered, and that God is faithful! There were so many days I seriously thought this would never come true.
Baby waving! He or she kept saying hi!
Sleeps all curled up, just like it's mama!
During the ultrasound, the baby was moving up a storm. The ultrasound tech said it was "dancing." Yep, it's Eddie's child - I'm sure it's already dancing in there! ;) Heartbeat was a good 170bpm - I always tear up when I hear it. We go back for our next Dr. appt at the end of Feb, and will find out what the sex is on my birthday, March 26. What an awesome birthday present that will be!
They also moved my due date up to Aug. 15, making me 11 weeks instead of 10. I'm counting down the days to the end of the first trimester and praying for relief from the morning sickness (which should really be called "All day sickness". The term "morning sickness" teases you - how I wish it was only in the morning!) From about 8 weeks through last week, I physically felt awful. Some days, the physical effects (and hormones, I'm sure) took an emotional toll - I'm so used to being independent, and Eddie has had to do everything for me - cook, clean, laundry, etc... I felt like my life wasn't my life anymore. I'm so thankful I have an amazing husband!! Luckily, the last few days have been much better. Praying they continue!
Eddie leaves to go home to Colombia and visit his family soon. I'm so excited for him to go home, but of course he will be greatly missed!! Please pray for safe travels for him.
Thanks again for all your prayers and support! They mean so much to us :)
Brittney
1.05.2012
Our Sun Stand Still Prayer Answered. :)
Over the last 6 months, both mine and Eddie's lives have been radically transformed after reading the book Sun Stand Still. This book, for those who haven't read it, is about how to take your normal, everyday prayers and completely change the way you pray them. Author Stephen Furtick challenges readers to have big, audacious prayers, make your case before God based upon his faithfulness to those like you in the Bible, and most importantly, to push and march while you pray. A few quotes, just to give you an idea, say things like "what seems impossible for me isn't even remotely difficult for God," and "prayer is not a last resort, it's a nuclear weapon". Read it, you won't be disappointed.
After reading the book together around August, Eddie and I completely changed our way of praying our one big, audacious prayer - to have a child. One of our main issues with the whole situation had been that we had never heard a clear "yes" or "no" from God. After reading the book, we decided we were going to take the next step and keep marching forward until God answered our prayer or stopped us.
We looked into adoption and saw a doctor to get back on fertility medicine at the same time, knowing God would lead us down the path he wanted for us. We completely opened up to our life group about our struggles with having a child, and support just poured in. For the last several months, we have received phone calls, text messages, and emails almost daily of people praying for us. I cannot stress enough how much we appreciate it. For the first time since we started this journey, we clearly heard God saying "just have faith, good things are coming soon."
And they finally have. After only one month of fertility medicine this round, we are pleased to announce our first child will arrive in August. Eddie and I are completely overjoyed and filled with gratitude for those who completely covered us in prayer these last 6 months. We could never thank you enough.
So many scriptures describe what we are feeling right now, but Psalm 103:1 pretty much sums it up:
Our Sun Stand Still prayer has been partially answered. Please pray with us for our child to develop normally and be healthy through the entire pregnancy. We know what awesome things God can do!
Brittney, Eddie, and Baby Gomez
After reading the book together around August, Eddie and I completely changed our way of praying our one big, audacious prayer - to have a child. One of our main issues with the whole situation had been that we had never heard a clear "yes" or "no" from God. After reading the book, we decided we were going to take the next step and keep marching forward until God answered our prayer or stopped us.
We looked into adoption and saw a doctor to get back on fertility medicine at the same time, knowing God would lead us down the path he wanted for us. We completely opened up to our life group about our struggles with having a child, and support just poured in. For the last several months, we have received phone calls, text messages, and emails almost daily of people praying for us. I cannot stress enough how much we appreciate it. For the first time since we started this journey, we clearly heard God saying "just have faith, good things are coming soon."
And they finally have. After only one month of fertility medicine this round, we are pleased to announce our first child will arrive in August. Eddie and I are completely overjoyed and filled with gratitude for those who completely covered us in prayer these last 6 months. We could never thank you enough.
So many scriptures describe what we are feeling right now, but Psalm 103:1 pretty much sums it up:
"Let all that I am praise the Lord; with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name."Thanks to God has continually come from our mouths the last several weeks. We are and will continue to praise God for his goodness and faithfulness.
Our Sun Stand Still prayer has been partially answered. Please pray with us for our child to develop normally and be healthy through the entire pregnancy. We know what awesome things God can do!
Brittney, Eddie, and Baby Gomez
12.13.2011
A week of waiting
The past few weeks have been an emotional roller coaster for Eddie and I. Most everyone knows we resumed fertility treatments in hopes of having a family. Not only does the medicine make me extra emotional, the entire process adds extra emotions. For years we have been given a "no" every single month. After a while, "no" is all you are accustomed to. You can't even picture what it would be like to see a "yes". While on fertility medicine, the first 2 weeks of every month are essentially a high - hopes that this month will be different. The last 2 weeks of the month are the longest 2 weeks of your life - the waiting. And in this time of waiting, the only thing that runs through your head is "no." Because that's what you've been told over and over. Why would this month be any different?
I'm in a week of waiting. This month in particular I have been overcome with extra anxiety. Normally I have a peace from God that He has full control over the situation and will bless us with a child in his timing. I don't have that this month (maybe I'm not seeking it hard enough). Instead I'm all nervous and feel like a weight's sitting on my chest.
Today, things were overwhelming, so I wrote the letter below to my future child. We don't know when or how we will meet him or her, but God does. Please pray for Eddie and I as we prepare ourselves to get an answer soon, even if it's another no.
Dear future child of mine,
From a very young age, I knew I wanted to be a mommy - your mommy. While all the other girls were planning their future college majors and careers, I was thinking about what your name would be and how to decorate the nursery. I met a wonderful man in college that I knew would be a perfect daddy for you, and we began dreaming of you together. We discussed how we would celebrate your first birthday party and where we would take our first family vacation. The vision for our lives revolved around you.
The road to bring you into this world has not been easy. In fact, it's been filled with a lot of heartache and sadness because it has taken so long to meet you, a lot longer than we thought it would. Mommy and daddy prayed for you for a long time before you were born. Friends and family prayed for you also and longed to meet you. But only God knew the exact moment when you would be given to us and we would become a family of three.
Sweet child of mine, how I longed to hear your first cry in this world, hold you in my arms, sing lullabies to you, and hold your sweet little hands. I dreamed of the day when I could set up a crib in your nursery, fold tiny baby clothes, and rock you as you fall asleep.
I will be there with you when you are happy and want to play, and when you are hurt and simply want your mommy to hold you. I'll teach you everything you need to know in life (except Spanish....daddy will have to teach you that). I'll attend every school play and dance recital and soccer game and Valentine's Day party at school. I'll be there with you as you move on to middle school for those awkward years we all have, through high school and the day you get your drivers license. I'll help you pack as you prepare to leave for college, but you have to promise me you will visit during every school break! And I'll be the one with the box of tissues at your wedding in the front row.
Child, there is nothing in this world that can separate my love from you, because I loved you before you were born. The many years we waited for you was a long time, but my love for you grew and grew exponentially each day. Your mommy and daddy will always be there for you. We love you SO much.
Mommy
I'm in a week of waiting. This month in particular I have been overcome with extra anxiety. Normally I have a peace from God that He has full control over the situation and will bless us with a child in his timing. I don't have that this month (maybe I'm not seeking it hard enough). Instead I'm all nervous and feel like a weight's sitting on my chest.
Today, things were overwhelming, so I wrote the letter below to my future child. We don't know when or how we will meet him or her, but God does. Please pray for Eddie and I as we prepare ourselves to get an answer soon, even if it's another no.
Dear future child of mine,
From a very young age, I knew I wanted to be a mommy - your mommy. While all the other girls were planning their future college majors and careers, I was thinking about what your name would be and how to decorate the nursery. I met a wonderful man in college that I knew would be a perfect daddy for you, and we began dreaming of you together. We discussed how we would celebrate your first birthday party and where we would take our first family vacation. The vision for our lives revolved around you.
The road to bring you into this world has not been easy. In fact, it's been filled with a lot of heartache and sadness because it has taken so long to meet you, a lot longer than we thought it would. Mommy and daddy prayed for you for a long time before you were born. Friends and family prayed for you also and longed to meet you. But only God knew the exact moment when you would be given to us and we would become a family of three.
Sweet child of mine, how I longed to hear your first cry in this world, hold you in my arms, sing lullabies to you, and hold your sweet little hands. I dreamed of the day when I could set up a crib in your nursery, fold tiny baby clothes, and rock you as you fall asleep.
I will be there with you when you are happy and want to play, and when you are hurt and simply want your mommy to hold you. I'll teach you everything you need to know in life (except Spanish....daddy will have to teach you that). I'll attend every school play and dance recital and soccer game and Valentine's Day party at school. I'll be there with you as you move on to middle school for those awkward years we all have, through high school and the day you get your drivers license. I'll help you pack as you prepare to leave for college, but you have to promise me you will visit during every school break! And I'll be the one with the box of tissues at your wedding in the front row.
Child, there is nothing in this world that can separate my love from you, because I loved you before you were born. The many years we waited for you was a long time, but my love for you grew and grew exponentially each day. Your mommy and daddy will always be there for you. We love you SO much.
Mommy
11.27.2011
Reckless Love
I was in high school when a good friend of mine told me something that has stuck with me since: every single person you are close to will fail you or let you down in some way in your life, but God never will. In high school, that didn't mean too much. As an adult, I've learned it's definitely true. This past Thanksgiving weekend should have been filled with love, laughs, and joy. Instead, it was interrupted with let downs. What should have been fun, family time became filled with anger and bitterness.
It's funny how most of us are so ready to open and share our lives with other people. We crave love from others. It means a lot to us when others invest in us, and to those closest to us, we would share anything with. But like my friend in high school says, people let you down.
How much more should we give to God, who never lets us down. He strongly desires to have all of us, but instead we put our trust and hope in those close to us here on Earth Then we get frustrated when we are let down.
There's another line in the song that says "so let me recklessly love you".
The definition of reckless states: utterly unconcerned about the consequences of some action; without caution.
How much does God desire that we recklessly love Him, giving ALL of us to Him? Not just our finances, or a situation that seems unfair, or our family, but every single part of our being.
This is what I desire and am searching for this week in my personal quiet time. How can I recklessly love Him, giving Him control over my entire life? Because I know the more I give to Him, the more He will reveal Himself to me.
On the way home from Louisville, I heard a song by Matt Hammitt called "All of Me". The words say:
"You're gonna have all of me, You're gonna have all of me
'cause you're worth every falling tear, you're worth facing any fear.
You're gonna know all my love even if it's not enough
Enough to mend our broken hearts, but giving you all of me is where I'll start."
It's funny how most of us are so ready to open and share our lives with other people. We crave love from others. It means a lot to us when others invest in us, and to those closest to us, we would share anything with. But like my friend in high school says, people let you down.
How much more should we give to God, who never lets us down. He strongly desires to have all of us, but instead we put our trust and hope in those close to us here on Earth Then we get frustrated when we are let down.
There's another line in the song that says "so let me recklessly love you".
The definition of reckless states: utterly unconcerned about the consequences of some action; without caution.
How much does God desire that we recklessly love Him, giving ALL of us to Him? Not just our finances, or a situation that seems unfair, or our family, but every single part of our being.
This is what I desire and am searching for this week in my personal quiet time. How can I recklessly love Him, giving Him control over my entire life? Because I know the more I give to Him, the more He will reveal Himself to me.
11.10.2011
Not My Understanding.
This past week has been a not so good week. To keep it brief, several events occurred this week that went completely against the 3 big, audacious prayers Eddie and I have been praying the last couple of months. Each of the 3 prayers. Not just one. At one point, I seriously thought God was mocking us. I was angry, confused, and disappointed. I've recently been taught at church to keep knocking on the door with shameless persistence. Let me just say, I've probably prayed more in the last 2 months than I have in years. But this last week, it seemed like none of it mattered.
Yesterday, I was so overwhelmed, I opened my YouVersion bible app on my phone and went to the reading plans. This was my first time doing so, so I didn't even know how it worked. I found you can search for plans based on the topic, so I scrolled through a list. Towards the very bottom, was a word that stuck out - trust. At that moment, I had no trust. Everything seemed to be working against me and falling apart. I needed to regain that. So I started the 4 day plan.
The verses yesterday started to renew my hope in the Lord, but today something even more incredible happened. The scripture for today was the exact same verse as the K-Love encouraging word, which I had just read seconds before. Only this time, there was a second verse added:
Yesterday, I was so overwhelmed, I opened my YouVersion bible app on my phone and went to the reading plans. This was my first time doing so, so I didn't even know how it worked. I found you can search for plans based on the topic, so I scrolled through a list. Towards the very bottom, was a word that stuck out - trust. At that moment, I had no trust. Everything seemed to be working against me and falling apart. I needed to regain that. So I started the 4 day plan.
The verses yesterday started to renew my hope in the Lord, but today something even more incredible happened. The scripture for today was the exact same verse as the K-Love encouraging word, which I had just read seconds before. Only this time, there was a second verse added:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take."
Proverbs 3:5-6
At the present moment, I simply can't understand how God is going to work in this situation, and I've questioned him on it. While to me, everything looks like my prayers won't be answered, God has a bigger plan. He sees the bigger picture that I can't see. And though it's really hard right now, I'm trusting him for that.
Brittney
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)